2010 Goals

Last year around this time, I posted a recap of the previous year's new year's eve, that year's new year's eve and a comparison of my goals vs. achievements of the past year.

Let's continue that January tradition.

This NYE was different than any before. It was the husband and my first NYE together - our first one in the same state, actually. Every year past we were in our respective hometowns for winter break, celebrating with high school friends.

So, it being our first year together at the turn of the year, we spent it quietly at home on the couch, with Chinese takeout from Fortune (best ever), champagne, candles, Seinfield Scene It and a South Park marathon. It was surprisingly fun and romantic.

My goal at the beginning of 2009 was to run a half marathon. It was decidedly doable. And I did it. But my real achievement was running the Chicago Marathon. It was the most amazing running experience I've ever had.

I want nothing more than to run another marathon this year - preferably Chicago again - but I can't commit to it until I know what's wrong with my knee. I haven't run since Nov. 7 :(

The weeks leading up to the start of the pain were some of my best running weeks ever. I was tackling hills, doing speedwork, not skipping workouts. I was really motivated for the half-marathon I was planning on running Jan. 23. Then it all came crashing down. Now I'm afraid of what might be wrong. And I'm afraid of how hard it will be to start from scratch again.

But as soon as I'm able to run again, I commit to training for a big race.

And assuming I can get back out there, here are the goals I set post-marathon and would like to stick to in 2010:

1) Run a 5K in under 25 minutes.
2) Run a half marathon in under 1:58:00
3) Run a marathon in under 4:10:00
4) Run a local half marathon.
5) Join a running group. I want running buddies!

I had another goal of dropping 5 pounds, keeping it off for a month and rewarding myself with a new pair of jeans... but I'm not sure how committed I am to that just yet ;)

As for non-running goals... I'm too tired to set any right now. Perhaps another month I will think about what I actually want to accomplish in this short life I have been given and set some concrete goals.

Commit to (and love) the one you're with

I just finished reading an embarrassing girly novel, "love the one you're with," by Emily Giffin, and I feel like I cheated on Peter just by reading about the wand'ring heart of the main character. Sheesh.

All in all the book was very addictive and I enjoyed reading it. I even thought it was pretty well-written (for a chick lit novel).

I hadn't finished a book since my 24-hour "Twilight" sprint (even more embarrassing, I know) on the last day of our honeymoon (spent traveling, don't worry) and it felt good to read again. As silly as it sounds, getting caught up in the story gave me something to look forward to in each moment of my day that I could spare to slip in a chapter. It was like an alternate life I could escape to.

It kind of scared me how much the feelings of Ellen, the protagonist, would influence my own feelings. Every time she would think excessively warm, loving thoughts about her husband I would be compelled to pull Peter into a bear hug and repeat how much I love him. When she began to question her life, her choices and her loyalty, I (on a much, much lower level) began to do the same. (SPOILER ALERT!) Thank goodness Ellen ended the story with her head on straight.

The difference between Ellen and me is that all along, no matter what minor questions the book might have brought up in my head, I knew that my commitment to Peter is much more powerful than even my love for him. Every time Ellen was seduced by her own memories, feelings and attraction to her ex-boyfriend I wanted to rip into the pages of the novel and shout at her, "IT'S NOT ABOUT FOLLOWING YOUR HEART!" It's about your commitment. (Why did it take her so long to figure this out?)

If you think marriage and "forever" are based on love, then you're setting yourself up for failure. Obviously love is an ingredient in the mixture, and an important one at that, but loyalty and commitment are really at the heart of it (no pun intended, really.) That's what gets you through the rough patches. You won't always look fondly at your partner and marvel at how he/she makes your heart flutter. At times you'll feel quite the opposite. Working through those times when "love" is the last word that comes to mind is what makes marriage so intense, unique, frustrating, difficult... and rewarding.

Who am I to say this, at the tender age of 22, being married for little more than four months? I have the Bible to back me up. I have wonderful role models and counselors with 25+ years of marriage experience who echo my sentiments. I have anecdotes left and right of why following your heart, wherever it may lead you, is a recipe for divorce.

I may be young, but I am very confident that I'll be singing the same tune 20 years from now. (An important part of this entire equation is that Peter feels the exact same way. Aww shucks, now I'm feeling all gushy about him again...)

Day 52: My norm of homogany

I'm in a social psychology class online through Mizzou this summer. I'm so glad i'm taking it online. It's cake and actually kind of fun discussing the topics with classmates on our discussion board. This weeks topic is a good one: interpersonal relationships aka LOVE. The talk was about what we find desirable in a mate and what we think of pick up lines. Here are my thoughts (edited for readability):

For me physical attractiveness isn't as much measured by natural looks, but by how the person puts himself together and acts. I don't really notice if someone is unattractive as long as they groom themselves and have an attractive personality. It's also not uncommon that a really hot guy will become almost physically ugly in my mind if I get to know him and realize he is a jerk. And vice versa - an awkward-looking guy who is sweet and funny will seem more physically attractive after I get to know him.

I definitely see elements of the norm of homogany in my relationship style. Although I've dated different types of guys, they all have had many characteristics in common with me -- usually race, education, age and socioeconomic status. I would venture to say that none of those traits are super important to me, but they are just the type of people I have been most exposed to through school and social activities. There are two characteristics that are very important to me though: level of intellect and religion.

Level of intellect is the less important of the two, although I have trouble trusting someone who I think is less intelligent than I am and I do find it very desirable to be intellectually challenged in general. But Peter has helped me to realize that religion is a very important part of a serious relationship for some people. When we first started dating we had a conversation where he said he could never marry a non-Christian. I was a little taken aback by it and argued, "but what if the person you fall in love with happens to be Muslim? You can't deny true love!" He said it wouldn't matter; it just wouldn't work. At the time, I didn't fully understand why that was so important. Since my transition from Catholic to Christian -- only now do I understand what a big difference there is -- I know exactly where he was coming from when he said that.

My religion is such a huge part of my life that it would be impossible for me to be happy married to someone who doesn't share it with me. It defines my values, behavior, opinions and basically everything about me and it would be utterly contradictory for me to be with someone who doesn't share or understand those things. Imagine raising kids with someone with different values than yours -- it would be a constant battle and the kids would just end up confused. Even without kids in the picture, I share an understanding with other Christians that I don't with non-Christians, and that understanding is essential for me in a relationship. I would imagine that anyone who is deeply religious, Christian or not, would share my feelings. Someone very passionate about their political or moral views would relate too. I have friends who are not religious, and we still have great friendships even though we differ in a lot of ways, but my partner for life needs to stand beside me and behind me on that which is most important to me.

As for pick up lines... if they aren't meant as a joke then they're usually pretty sad. For instance:
Guy I just met: Have we met before?
Me: I don't think so... where would we have met?
Guy: What high school did you go to?
Me: Benet.
Guy: I went to St. Viator. I swear you look so familiar! Did you ever go to basketball games in high school? We played you.
Me: Um... a few.
Guy: I know! I bet I saw you at a game and noticed how hot you are and checked you out.
Me: (Speechless. Does he actually expect me to believe that? If so, does he think I would appreciate being "checked out" at a high school basketball game and then remembered several years later?)

Day 36: Life with love

Life with Love is wonderful. Blissful. Incredible. Fulfulible. And so much FUN!

This past week was spent with true Love. Five nights with him. He came Tuesday night and stayed till Sunday. The only downside was that I had to work on Thursday and Friday. But, let me tell you, work is fine when you're coming home to Love.

I asked him on day six of our bliss if he was sick of me yet. The answer? Of course not.

Good. I wasn't sick of him either.

Day 18: Bloggedy blog

Today was such a bag of slack. I accomplished my immediate goals and absolutely nothing more at work. Well, actually, I accomplished quite a bit more, but nothing work-related. After the Pete sent me and some friends a fairly well-researched and interesting political ramble about how much he hates John Edwards, I convinced him to start a blog (read: I started a blog for him). So they day went by fairly quickly as we emailed back and forth details about the blog and I got it up and running. But my goodness, the blogger and google marriage sure likes to mess with you. I guess I somehow created a new gmail account with the username "BigPete_02@hotmail.com." Um... I don't know how you can have two @something.coms in one email address, but apparently that's what blogger did.

Either way, Peter has a talent for writing controversial and opinionated things. He will be a great blogger because he has the dedication, focus and, most of all, passion to let his opinions be known (at least about important things like religion and politics). He will kick my blog's ass, but that's okay.

Anyway, it's Friday (whoop whoop!) and I have basically nothing to do. I should go for a run. I want to. It might be too late and I might use that as an excuse not too. Then I would feel bad. I also should get my sociology homework out of the way (yes, online summer course... not difficult, just have to remember to do the work). It's too bad I have such a limited number of friends in this damn city.

Day 11: Fridays are supposed to fly

I woke up this morning with the exciting fact that it's FRIDAY on my mind. The past several Fridays have been get-out-of-town days. Literally. I'm a traveling woman. After work today (I plan on taking a 30 minute lunch so I can jet out at 5) I'm driving down to the Land of Summer. That is, Lake of the Ozarks.

Only problem: this is the slowest day ever! I have basically nothing to do. I've been eating Hershey's kisses out of the candy drawer just to pass the time. That's bad news.

One big thing (besides Nate's lake twafirst tonight) that I have keeping me in the game today is my reunion with Pedro tomorrow. Aww. Last night was rocky though. Man, we were ready to argue about anything. We hardcore argued about what snack I should bring to Sunday school (he wanted cookies, I wanted guacamole or Chinese salad). It was so heated he ended up giving me the silent treatment before I hung up on him. Ridiculous. Later in the night I started talking about technology and the world's obsession with being connected at all times (like with the iPhone) and we got into a big argument about whether constant text messaging is prevelent in our generation. That was just the opening act, the headliner was about who started the argument and why we were arguing and what each of us was trying to say and God only knows what else. Now it was his turn to hang up on me. Undeservedly, of course. (ring... ring... "I really hope to God we just got disconnected and that wasn't you trying to HANG UP on me!") We made up and said our I love you's before going to bed, but geez louise... talk about a serious power struggle over whose opinion and actions were right. Breathe.