Commit to (and love) the one you're with

I just finished reading an embarrassing girly novel, "love the one you're with," by Emily Giffin, and I feel like I cheated on Peter just by reading about the wand'ring heart of the main character. Sheesh.

All in all the book was very addictive and I enjoyed reading it. I even thought it was pretty well-written (for a chick lit novel).

I hadn't finished a book since my 24-hour "Twilight" sprint (even more embarrassing, I know) on the last day of our honeymoon (spent traveling, don't worry) and it felt good to read again. As silly as it sounds, getting caught up in the story gave me something to look forward to in each moment of my day that I could spare to slip in a chapter. It was like an alternate life I could escape to.

It kind of scared me how much the feelings of Ellen, the protagonist, would influence my own feelings. Every time she would think excessively warm, loving thoughts about her husband I would be compelled to pull Peter into a bear hug and repeat how much I love him. When she began to question her life, her choices and her loyalty, I (on a much, much lower level) began to do the same. (SPOILER ALERT!) Thank goodness Ellen ended the story with her head on straight.

The difference between Ellen and me is that all along, no matter what minor questions the book might have brought up in my head, I knew that my commitment to Peter is much more powerful than even my love for him. Every time Ellen was seduced by her own memories, feelings and attraction to her ex-boyfriend I wanted to rip into the pages of the novel and shout at her, "IT'S NOT ABOUT FOLLOWING YOUR HEART!" It's about your commitment. (Why did it take her so long to figure this out?)

If you think marriage and "forever" are based on love, then you're setting yourself up for failure. Obviously love is an ingredient in the mixture, and an important one at that, but loyalty and commitment are really at the heart of it (no pun intended, really.) That's what gets you through the rough patches. You won't always look fondly at your partner and marvel at how he/she makes your heart flutter. At times you'll feel quite the opposite. Working through those times when "love" is the last word that comes to mind is what makes marriage so intense, unique, frustrating, difficult... and rewarding.

Who am I to say this, at the tender age of 22, being married for little more than four months? I have the Bible to back me up. I have wonderful role models and counselors with 25+ years of marriage experience who echo my sentiments. I have anecdotes left and right of why following your heart, wherever it may lead you, is a recipe for divorce.

I may be young, but I am very confident that I'll be singing the same tune 20 years from now. (An important part of this entire equation is that Peter feels the exact same way. Aww shucks, now I'm feeling all gushy about him again...)