I'm in a social psychology class online through Mizzou this summer. I'm so glad i'm taking it online. It's cake and actually kind of fun discussing the topics with classmates on our discussion board. This weeks topic is a good one: interpersonal relationships aka LOVE. The talk was about what we find desirable in a mate and what we think of pick up lines. Here are my thoughts (edited for readability):
For me physical attractiveness isn't as much measured by natural looks, but by how the person puts himself together and acts. I don't really notice if someone is unattractive as long as they groom themselves and have an attractive personality. It's also not uncommon that a really hot guy will become almost physically ugly in my mind if I get to know him and realize he is a jerk. And vice versa - an awkward-looking guy who is sweet and funny will seem more physically attractive after I get to know him.
I definitely see elements of the norm of homogany in my relationship style. Although I've dated different types of guys, they all have had many characteristics in common with me -- usually race, education, age and socioeconomic status. I would venture to say that none of those traits are super important to me, but they are just the type of people I have been most exposed to through school and social activities. There are two characteristics that are very important to me though: level of intellect and religion.
Level of intellect is the less important of the two, although I have trouble trusting someone who I think is less intelligent than I am and I do find it very desirable to be intellectually challenged in general. But Peter has helped me to realize that religion is a very important part of a serious relationship for some people. When we first started dating we had a conversation where he said he could never marry a non-Christian. I was a little taken aback by it and argued, "but what if the person you fall in love with happens to be Muslim? You can't deny true love!" He said it wouldn't matter; it just wouldn't work. At the time, I didn't fully understand why that was so important. Since my transition from Catholic to Christian -- only now do I understand what a big difference there is -- I know exactly where he was coming from when he said that.
My religion is such a huge part of my life that it would be impossible for me to be happy married to someone who doesn't share it with me. It defines my values, behavior, opinions and basically everything about me and it would be utterly contradictory for me to be with someone who doesn't share or understand those things. Imagine raising kids with someone with different values than yours -- it would be a constant battle and the kids would just end up confused. Even without kids in the picture, I share an understanding with other Christians that I don't with non-Christians, and that understanding is essential for me in a relationship. I would imagine that anyone who is deeply religious, Christian or not, would share my feelings. Someone very passionate about their political or moral views would relate too. I have friends who are not religious, and we still have great friendships even though we differ in a lot of ways, but my partner for life needs to stand beside me and behind me on that which is most important to me.
As for pick up lines... if they aren't meant as a joke then they're usually pretty sad. For instance:
Guy I just met: Have we met before?
Me: I don't think so... where would we have met?
Guy: What high school did you go to?
Me: Benet.
Guy: I went to St. Viator. I swear you look so familiar! Did you ever go to basketball games in high school? We played you.
Me: Um... a few.
Guy: I know! I bet I saw you at a game and noticed how hot you are and checked you out.
Me: (Speechless. Does he actually expect me to believe that? If so, does he think I would appreciate being "checked out" at a high school basketball game and then remembered several years later?)
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