I'm trying to think of the last time I was this passionate about a project, and I can't think of anything that quite matches the intensity and duration of the passion I'm feeling right now.
There are many that come close. The start of my (work) blog. The Mahal project. Michael Lock. DNA. In college there was my capstone. The Greyhound bus mega-story I worked on with Michelle. Homecoming house decs 2005. That might be the closest match.
But I don't think I've ever felt this overwhelming combination of excitement, stress, enthusiasm, nervousness, love, frustration, hilarity, agony, fun and pure adrenaline before. It has me reeling.
Do you ever find yourself with so many thoughts that you don't have enough time to yourself to fully think all of them? My brain is full of unfinished reflections and dreams that I keep bookmarking to come back to. I cannot stop thinking about work.
The insane part is I don't really mind thinking about it constantly.
That's not to say I don't dread it at times. I come home emotionally and intellectually drained. I can't bear to think of surviving another day. But then the next day I laugh and I laugh harder and I realize how much I enjoy the people I work with (some of them) and how much progress we're making. I picture our goal attained and the buzz comes back. It's an utter roller coaster.
Soon the project, at least the development stage, will come to an end. I'll have new goals to attain, and I'll work with different people to attain them. I'll feel all the emotions listed above, but probably not at the same time. I'll look back on this stressful and wonderful period in my career and long for that adrenaline, that insistent buzz - stronger than caffeine - that keeps me bouncing.
But for now, I'll hold on tight and enjoy the ride the best I can.
No comments:
Post a Comment