I see the family in me

Every time I see my grandparents it amazes me how much of them I see in me. I am fairly close with all four of them and have always been that way, but it's not like I was raised by them so sometimes it freaks me out when I realize how much we have in common and how many of my traits - good or bad - seem to have been plucked directly from them and placed in my gene pool.

Let's start with Nanie, my dad's mom. She is the grandparent that bears the most animosity from the family. She's very clean and organized, and unsurprisingly controlling. She knows what she wants and she is very outspoken - so much so that it can come off as rude at times.

I definitely would not consider myself outspoken, but I completely identify with Nanie on the controlling/organized/clean-freak level. The first thing she does when she comes over is head for the kitchen to start cleaning. She used to drive my mom crazy by actually reorganizing our kitchen whenever she would visit. She once told me that she finds ironing relaxing. She always has a plan and sticks to it. It's hard for her to rely on others to get things done. And as crazy as all that sounds, I identify with all of it.

Then there's Papa Tito, my dad's dad. Pops is the one that everyone likes. He was always fun to play with when we were kids. He would push us on the tire swing and tell us funny stories (looking back I realize how many weren't actually true). He let us watch movies our parents probably wouldn't.

It wasn't until I headed down to Florida and visited my grandparents on my own a couple years ago that I realized he's a lot like me in a very big way - he's involved. He's like the senior citizen version of the college me: on the board of directors of his condo building, in various social clubs, an avid exerciser. Okay so he's not in 15 different organizations, but I suspect I'll slow down a bit by then too. He overextends himself and takes on leadership positions and gets flack from Nanie for being underappreciated.

On my mom's side we have Nana, who doesn't have a bad bone in her body. She's soft-spoken on the outside but she does have her opinions. She's a total germaphobe -- brings "handy wipes" to restaurants and embarrassingly makes us use them before we eat. She loves to sing and write silly poetry. She's cuddly and oftentimes paranoid about things that old women are paranoid about.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll be exactly like her when I'm a grandma. Then I realize I have too much Nanie in me to be completely like Nana, so I'll be some sort of weird combination of the two of them. If you met them both you wouldn't think that's possible.

My mom's dad, Pa, and I have bonded over many things through the years. Growing up he would teach me magic tricks. I was his little magician and we'd perform magic shows for the family. More recently he's gotten into Shakespeare, and often writes sonnets that fall somewhere between goofy and profound. He's learned how to properly use thee, thy and thou and puts them into practice whenever he gets the chance. He's a good writer. At my eighth grade graduation he gave me a long typed-out letter that I can't quite remember the details of now, but I know I'll cherish in the years to come.

How am I like Pa? I write and I think. Pa used to be much more brazen and fiery, but I've noticed a mellowing out in him as he ages (he's nearly 88). I've seen his thoughts turn more introspective and somber. I relate to that quiet intellect. I often pray that God will open his mind and his heart so his thoughts can find peace.

So what am I saying? I'm an organized, controlling, clean, involved, silly, cuddly, germaphobic, melodic, paranoid, introspective, literary combination of my four grandparents. I love them all more than I can describe.

I'm back

My 21st year is old news. I'm 22 now; I've been married for almost two months; I have a full-time job; I own a home in suburban Milwaukee.

Wow.

How's that for a change of lifestyle?

I sound old. I promise I'm really not though. I'm still just attempting to make my way through post-college life and find my place in this new arena of job/marriage/home. Sometimes I feel like my exterior projects someone much more mature than I actually am.

So this evolved blog is my place to document it all. More to come.